I am Tapan Das

Hello!

I am Tapan Das. Have come back from history; was responsible for forming the hockey team for India in 1948 that won the Summer Olympics. People have a mixed opinion of me; I toss between being good, bad and ugly in the minds of people in my times. But now it is not about me, it is about the team I formed, the strategies I adopted to see India as the undisputed champion of hockey. I had to suffer a big blow following the partition of India because, of the team formed, brilliant players had to leave for Pakistan and Australia. But this also belongs to the past. From the pages of history, I have reappeared; but this time with a different mission. So here is how I go.

-          What? Mr Tapan Das! This is not possible. You see we are very happy that you have come to form a football team for the FIFA 2022, but you are asking for the impossible. Why!

-       This is my first condition. If you do not concur, I will go away. I will form three teams, one for India, one for Pakistan, one for Bangladesh; three teams.

-          But this will involve lot of political interventions.

-          I can wait. Although I understand the difficulties, but I will only concentrate on Sports, on Football; for me the political challenges is not my concern; I am sorry if I am hurting your sentiments, but this is my condition. You asked why, for this I will quote a famous line from a song written by Arthur Altman, it was made very famous during my times by Frank Sanatra, it’s ‘All or nothing at all…’ I still have close to four years; we are in July 2018 now, that should be okay.

(The whole room full of people who matter looked at him in utter surprise, but didn’t ask him to clarify further).

 After a lot of talking, meetings, discussions the leaders of three robust countries, who were also eager to see their countries play, sort of agreed. But none of them was ready to believe what was going on.

-          Will you give the same type of coaching to all the teams?

-          100%, it’s because…

-          Okay we get you. And you say you can help us win?

-          No.

-          Then??

-          You see the three countries have hardly been in the football world, despite being great lovers of this sport; we love the game as much as the Europeans, Africans and the Latinos. Winning is not important. Of the thirty-two countries that participated this year in 2018, only two countries won, sorry three, but all the rest have participated; participation is important, I will help the countries to be in the football map. We deserve to be there in the map at least for heaven’s sake! We must be there before 2030..that's when FIFA will be celebrating its centenary...it seems we have accepted that we can never participate in world cup football; my sincere effort will be to change this frozen mindset.

-          Okay, we get it. But what happens if none of the three teams qualifies?

- I will tell you when the time comes. If you ask me now, I will go away.

- Meaning? Do you understand it involves crores of money?

- I know. We have many industrialists, intellectuals, football freaks who will willingly contribute. Why don't you found a company called INDIA FIFA and have it listed?

   What!!! INDIA FIFA...you are talking about three countries, aren't you?

Oho sorry. Then you can found three companies, like PAKISTAN FIFA, INDIA FIFA and BANGLADESH FIFA and have them listed in your respective countries?

What rubbish! And then have them liquidated after four years?

Four years? It's a lifelong journey, after 2022, we have 2026 and so on. Of course, I don't understand the complications; I know nothing of anything, that's why I am depending on people who have visibility and understanding of how the business world functions. I was just suggesting of how funds can come in the noblest of ways.

So if it is public money, then we don't have to be answerable. Is that what you're trying to say?

- So it means we don't have to be answerable.

- Did I say that? Okay. Let me leave then. Bye.

- Stay. Do you have any other conditions?

-           Patience. I will reveal everything to you.

-          Okay carry on. We are listening.

It is very simple, but it will need your patronage and support. I will first form a team which will decide on the selection. Selection cannot be influenced by anyone; I need your concurrence on this. Our target will be to complete the selection procedure of three teams from three countries by the end of January 2019. Our target age would be from 15 to 18 so that they become just right by 2022. Then the training will start. We would like the boys to practise in the weather that’s close to Qatar; know that the training team will have many divisions, as follows:

Training the legs – we need to hire the best coaches of the world

Football (3 in number)

Long jump (Ideally 6)

High jump (6)

Running (3)

Relay race (3)

Training the body

Gymnastics (9)

Yoga (9)

Acrobatics (9)

Light to medium weight lifting (9)

Mountaineering

Swimming

Kungfu (3)

Taikwando (3)

Karate (3)

Training the mind

Meditation (9)

Sign language (9)

Cooking (9)

Playing with an invisible ball at night (3)

Joint events (like CSR activities)

Body language (9)

Ethics and compliance (9)

Sportsmanship (9)

TV sessions and theory of football (9)

Painting (the type of painting will centre around football, field, various type of shots depending on positions of players, the traditional landscapes and calligraphy of common mission ) (9)

Writing of dreams (concerning football) (9)

Self talk (1)

Prayer (3 or 4)

-          Is that all?

-          No.

-          Carry on.

-          The teams will be prepared to play by 2020. From then we will invite various countries to play friendly matches; our players will also visit countries like Argentina, Nigeria, France to have on-the-field experience. However, our focus will be to invite teams here. So from July 2020, there will be practical sessions with other teams.

      Okay. Are you done?

-          Yes

-          The room laughed; where is your budget? What are all these numbers? Painting!!! Self talk?? Cooking!!! Sign language?? What’s going on Mr Das! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! And what will be your fees?

-          (Ignoring the laughter) The numbers are arbitrary as of now; they represent the number of trainers for each criterion. Only for self talk I have put myself as a trainer, will do that in batches. I will clarify the reason one by one. Before that I will talk about my fees. My fees are your support, your preparedness of spending whatever I ask for, your belief in me. I need your support. I do not need any money, if I take money, my power will go.

-          (The room was suspiciously silent. Some of them started checking him out. Some were still controlling their smirks and their grins) What will you train the players on self talk?

-          Some specific prayer tables, the most important is ‘ I play to play’; ‘I play my best’…like this there will be some more.

-          What? You need to correct it…make them practise ‘we will win’

-          No. Winning is not important. I told you.

-          Then no one will respect you.

-          I don't want respect. I am here to give respect, not to beg for respect. This is the major difference between my earlier version and my current one. I will take out the fake stress from the players; they will play on the field like magicians. We will guide the football coaches to train the players mainly on passing, heading, flipping, and kicking the ball from all positions of the field apart from the specialties they will bring to the table.

-          Well then are we good to go? You will mail us the reason for imparting the various trainings that you have decided, we will see and then approve.

-          No.

-          What?

-          If you want to approve, then I will go away.

-         What is this ‘I will go away’! Are you threatening us? You seem to be like the Pied Piper!

-           I may sound like him, but you are certainly not like the Mayor(s) of Hamilton. You are good people, well-meaning leaders, but there are certain things you cannot see. I will help you see that. You cannot approve. I will only inform you the reason, you cannot approve, I want the boys to be trained in all the subjects without fail, for two and a half years. We are good to go only if I get your consent on this.

-          (Times) Okay Mr Das. From when do you want to start?

-          Yesterday.

-          Aha…you are smart, but we want results. Please mail us the details.

-          Sure.

The most engaging process of training to bring the three beautiful countries in the map of world football begins from tomorrow. Tonight Tapan would have to write the reasons for the various training he strongly recommends for the boys. He is aware that leaders may not agree with the ones they'd think as not connected, irrelevant as they'd like to call. He has never been able to see India as three different countries, but he respects the separation, he has to, but how could he get the consensus from the leaders so easily. He has to make it right, he has to try his best; even if he fails, won’t there be other Tapans who would carry this forward? Trying is far better than accepting defeat. Now is the night, now is the time, everything will depend on how he sells his ideas. Stars are blinking more in his eyes than in the sky. After supper, his wife has just gone to the kitchen to fill the flask with black coffee. 'All, or nothing at all' by Sanatra is slowly filling the air. Tapan starts writing.

After this, the real thing will start, 24/7 schooling. Tapan is looking forward to it. No, it is not important for 'you' to know about the letter that Tapan will write, substantiating the reason for having all the training modules in place; Tapan is here to plant the seed of possibilities in your hearts, that's all my friends...see you there in Qatar, where our flags will dance in the tune of our national anthems.

Woof! Woof!

The Beagle had just arrived, 21 days. Puja’s friend Priya named him Snoopy who became very popular in the neighborhood soon after he came. Priya has a lab, about a year old. His name is Simba. As days went by, both of them became very good friends, almost like Puja and Priya; but Simba would maintain his seniority and demanded respect from Snoopy all the time. Snoopy was always respectful, well not always, especially when they were given those yummy rawhide dental chew sticks. Snoopy would always catch them faster than Simba, the old boy would play the role of an indulgent big brother…didn’t mind sparing him one or two, after all Snoopy was the little brother. Hunters by instinct, you had to watch them play Frisbee in the park; everyone would in absolute wonder. When they ran chasing for the Frisbee, it felt as if they were gliding away. There was only fun in the game, they wouldn’t even know the name Frisbee, and there was no winning or losing, no rules, just playing and running around.Yes it was addictive too. The other day, an old man threw his stick and started running with them forgetting his pains…everyone laughed as the old man fell on the ground laughing helplessly, then stood up again and went running after Snoopy and Simba. Everyone was in splits. When the children in the park would say, ‘you have such nice dogs’ Priya would tell them, ‘please call them Snoopy and Simba, like you don’t call us girls, you call us Puja and Priya, don’t you?’ Children are fast learners, for soon the Beagle and the Labrador were known as Snoopy and Simba. Some elders would also call Simba as Veeru and Snoopy as Jai; the two fast friends from the famous film Sholay (Embers). They conquered everyone’s heart with their looks and their wagging tails, but many were also fascinated with their ‘woof, woof’, all through the evening they would run around saying ‘woof, woof’. Like this, Simba and Snoopy aka Veeru and Jai became die-hard friends.

Puja and Priya are not friends anymore. Priya stopped talking to Puja not because she has a newborn brother now; she stopped talking to her two months ago when Puja's family was preparing for the baby’s arrival. On a fateful day, Puja, out of nowhere, bluntly said to her, ‘the dog died’.

Simba still looks for his friend when he passes by Puja’s home. He still sniffs, looks at the sky and then says, ‘woof, woof’...as if wanting to say... how could you go like this Jai without even tossing head or tail. In the film, you at least fooled me tossing... remember? This is not fair. Woof! Woof!

Note:
Sholay (Embers) is the most popular Bollywood film the industry has ever known. Ever since its release in 1975, the two protagonists Veeru and Jai in the film have become iconic friends. In real life, best friends in India are given the status of Veeru and Jai when their friendship matches the standard of these heroes of the film. Without going into the main plot, let me explain the touching story behind tossing of a coin. Jai has a coin that he would toss every time the friends would choose between a yes and a no. Jai would tell Veeru if it was head, Veeru would win and he would lose. The last scene unfolds when Jai was seriously wounded and Veeru wouldn’t leave him but surrender to the Police who were searching for them. Jai, as usual, tossed the coin and told Veeru he had to leave if it was a head, could stay with him only if it was tail. Veeru didn’t leave. During the funeral Veeru discovered that the coin Jai tossed had heads on both sides, his friend Jai had always given him the better option all through his life.

The flash fiction, ‘Woof! Woof!’ tries to present a grim picture of dog owners being dog killers in a discrete way. I don’t know about other countries but sadly, it is very common in India. The flash, most humbly urges its readers to think many times before bringing a pet into the family, once brought pets become family members whom you cannot desert or clear for any justifiable reason. 

On the move

She was not even twelve when she saw her mom kissing Sudhin uncle. They were all traveling to Chandigarh to meet her father; when she woke up in the morning on the train with sleepy eyes, the first thing she wanted to know was how far was Chandigarh; she bent down from the upper berth, saw her mom kissing Mr Dasgupta, occupying the middle berth. Babu, her brother, five, was sleeping then with her mom on the lower berth…little did he know what his mom was doing...he was perhaps dreaming his usual dreams, fairy godmother that looked like her mom, hugging him, feeding him, kissing him.

This stays with her even today. She called her mom names, never understood why still her father was committed to her! Years later, she saw her father on the high, making it with her aunt out in the garden in a moonlit night. Her mom was then cooking in the kitchen. She just heard her aunt say… ‘O so now I know…that’s why didi had to go to him?’

She never discussed this with Babu, not even after her mom died. But these questions about how elders live went deep inside her, she was thankful to God that at least Babu didn’t have to witness those incidents. Two years later, when she was beginning to enjoy her teens, the whole family went to Digha with Mr and Mrs Dasgupta. On the beach Mr Dasgupta took her to a silent place, held her tightly and tried to molest her. Furious, she went to her parents and complained, her father hit the man badly, but that was all, the teenage girl didn't know why the two families did not part. Of course, she never spoke to the virile uncle anymore.

Sutonuka, instead of becoming a potential criminal, as a psychiatrist told her, became a healer. No, she did not find any letter in any cupboard, no one told her why her parents did what they did, she went searching for answers everywhere possible, she discovered Mrs Dasgupta to be a very honorable lady, her aunt’s husband to be happy with the marriage, and she herself was very happy when ‘others’ saw their family as picture perfect.  Perhaps not knowing the truth is bliss.

She was sixteen when her mom died. In the last couple of years, she became best of friends with her. She understood her not only as an erudite who would be comfortable talking about scriptures as well as novels and poems of Tagore, Bankim, Shakespeare, Flaubert, Camus and so on, but also as an outstanding mother. When she'd laugh the sky would fall in love with the earth. If people still remembered her, it was also because of her melodious laughter that had a healing effect on people. She refused to let her mother be defined by only that one incident... this wisdom came to her much later.

At forty-two, she has a broken marriage. Apparently she broke off because her husband was impotent. She works in IT and still takes care of her ex-husband by paying all his bills. He lost his job because he was charged of stealing and was also an under-performer. She stays with her daughter now who has decided not to marry and Sutonuka is okay with it, her ex-husband lives in another city where luckily he has a house of his own. Her daughter simply adores her, doesn’t respect her father at all… why not, respect has to be earned.

She also has another profession…it’s not a profession because she doesn’t charge anything, it is rather her passion, she calls it her raison d’être!

She heals traumatized children. Children whose parents had either abandoned them, or whose parents continuously fight with each other. She heals also those whose either parent has outrageous extra-marital affair. She is doing it quite successfully. How no one knows. She hugs them and says only one thing… shh… mum’s the word… she says “I am indebted to all of you.”

She tries to look for the unanswered questions even today, seemed to have responded to some of them herself, through her life. Whenever she closes her eyes, or becomes unmindful, she has this impression of being on the move, going nowhere on a train.

The new orphanage

‘Tell me why you feel this way.’

 ‘I wish I could tell you. They are so caring. I have two sets of parents now.’

 ‘So?’

 ‘I’m in class V now. I am quite grown up. I need to understand the marriage of my parents has broken for good. I cannot expect them to be friends again.’

 ‘But they are friends Kanta…you know that.’

 ‘O yes, I am sorry… I didn’t mean that; I know they are best of friends (curling up to the Teddy her parents gifted her when she was sent for playschool, she refused to leave her mom…her parents were in love with each other then).’

 ‘So? You have understood, you not only have two sets of parents, you have two homes, and one brother. I don’t understand what more you want. Once the marriage is broken it’s broken, you expect your parents to waste their lives and stay fighting with each other?’

 ‘Masi (aunty) why’s he my half-brother? Is it because he also comes from a broken marriage?’

 ‘How funny!’ (Her aunt smiles, but takes Kanta on her lap…didn’t know why she felt the pain of her mother’s death when she was her age when her aunt hugged her to tell her she’d be there for her.
She hugged Kanta. The Teddy lied on the bed looking at them.

The homeless

She has a beautiful garden with a huge iron gate. It is surrounded by tall walls with well-maintained ivy; but the two guardians that give her paradise a characteristic look are the red and the yellow flamboyant trees. Sujata knows that whatever happens, the trees will never go; this has given her a sense of stability, like that of her parents; the red one is ‘baba’, the yellow is ‘ma’ for her; there are other trees also in her garden but none could match those two parental trees. She comes from a very erudite family, her father a learned industrialist, her mother an acclaimed singer. She is twelve and being the single child, she is always taken care of, if not pampered.

Today she is going to another home, she has two homes now, her mother’s second husband is also very kind; her mom got married a year ago, when she was eleven, but today her father is bringing his second wife too. Sujata is twice lucky; now she has two homes and two sets of parents, two half-siblings. She has consoled herself saying her parents have one life to live. The only difference is that Sujata now has to stay with her mom for five days; of course she can spend the week-ends in her father’s house. All of this was decided by whom she doesn’t know until she came to know from her parents that it was her own decision.

When she hugged the trees before leaving, she found her hands still so little.

Life skills

"What? Are you crazy? I will never allow my wife to work. Women should be best kept at home."

Everybody was nodding their heads in approval. Except Kalyan.

"You must be out of your mind Rajesh. Do you know the organization you are working in has more of women workforce than men?"

"Ah Kalyan… all these things I know, but you don’t understand," snapped Rajesh. Phani added, "Aha Kalyan...why are so negative?"

Rajesh is the manager. The boss. So in corporate, you are not supposed to backchat..any crap they say you have to accept, otherwise you are doomed.Everybody was stunned with Kalyan’s comment…this ‘everybody’ was laughing 'at' Kalyan because they had to laugh 'with' VT Rajesh; in this there were Srikanth, Phani, Suresh, Faisal; also Ahalya, Susmitha, Suchitra; they were all looking condescendingly at Kalyan.

But the bad apple Kalyan was unaffected, he goes on… "Rajesh…the other day you were saying you don’t like AR Rehman…can you tell us why…"

Rajesh was furious, but managers do not show their anger, they become all the more polite, most politely they will throw you out, but they will never be rude you know…they cannot violate the culture of their ‘race’ you see.

He smiles and says…"yes Kalyan I can never support him because he changed his religion."

"How can you say such a thing Rajesh? Changing his religion is his personal choice. In such a learning organization, how can you keep saying these things."

Kalyan has picked up fights of this nature with many faceless, spineless managers. He also has another glaring fault. He doesn't speak English like his managers. He had been asking for a laptop for his two-day assignment in Bangalore, a very important client was coming and he had to do a presentation; but his manager said no, he declined to go writing a mail like this:

"I think I have explained this earlier in simple English that it is difficult to make a client presentation without a laptop..."Of course he wrote this because of a mild irritation BUT "explained this earlier in simple English?!"; how dare he such a thing! This was considered a violation of "respect for individuals"... he was summoned by the HR and there was this manager's manager called Lakshmi who found the tone of the email very offensive and perhaps the rudest of mails she has ever read. It seemed every other person, Kalyan's managers, his peers were picking up and jotting down issues against Kalyan. However, it was this same organization which gave him a promotion in three months, his skill was considered at P4, the highest anyone could get in his domain; this was a point of discord between him and his once-upon-a-time manager Asif. There were other irking points too, Kalyan's clients always wanted him and no one else because he has never failed in his SLA (Service level agreement) and because of his vast experience and qualification, which included a degree from abroad,  his salary was too high. This he heard from none other than Lakshmi over coffee breaks, 'Your salary is very high Kalyan and we need to use you enough' Kalyan maintained this P4 status following rigorous interviews from native speakers. Whatever said and done organizations are magicians.

Outcome.

Kalyan’s salary was high. His performance was poor. He might be an M.Phil in German, but he cannot form correct sentences with correct syntax. He went through a PIP (Performance Improvement Program) where his lack of language skills is recorded and documented. Everyone in his team was dissatisfied with his behavior, he was considered rude and unkind. He has been charged with sexual harassment by Ahalya and Susmitha.

His attrition was managed, almost like Socrates, Jesus, Joan of Arc.

Years later, Kalyan meets one of his former employees Faisal.

“Kalyan, you were good, but you don’t have life skills. Now these things are not taught you know.”

No reservations

Kalyan is a daydreamer. But he also has these nightmares every single night: he cannot get on the train that’s going somewhere he needs to go to rejoin his office. Every passenger in the train is known to him…hey come on, it’s a dream… it’s not real, but here is how it goes…

"How did you get on this train Jaffar and Harish? You made me drink last night and orchestrated a video so you can blackmail me? And you are going to impart training on ‘Integrity’? No, no why are you looking so kindly at me…I know you are faking it… you are people who only lie with good English. What is it… you are trying to give me a hand so I can get on the train? With you? I will not…let me try the other coach….

You Loveleen and Disha!!! You two are here!!! You’d scare me with your looks…do you remember?? Whenever I would work in my cubicle, you would just eye me…keep on eyeing me with a ‘we will screw you soon’ glare… and I would sweat out of fear…you have also got permission to be on this train? You were scared because I could take your subjects but you could never ever take mine… so you teamed up with Jyoti who was also upset with me because I remembered the names of the participants of my class? Do you remember?? And you are going there to train participants on interpersonal skills?? And now why are you looking so kindly huh? Loveleen… your child Tejas didn’t come on my lap and the whole group thought he didn’t because I was a bad person…and you made it seem so right…but no…here through meditation I come to know that the little boy didn’t come to me because he was receiving negative vibrations from all of you… for now…there are children who come to me, talk to me, love me… and no…I am NOT falling prey to your ploy again…and good lord…who am I seeing…SIN… Subhesh, Indrani and Nishant…my God…I have reasons to run from here too… you ruined my life with a click of a button… when you were alone you were good human beings, but when you came together as managers, you became sinful… don’t give me your hand…I will try to find a place somewhere else…

O Sanghamitra!!!! You have also managed a seat here?? How many times have you insulted me saying I have joined to ruin your career…but lo you ruined mine… I was senior to you…eighteen years… as if that was a crime huh? Never allowed me for client presentation because you were owning the process…and Vivek? You must change your name…that’s the least I can say about you… shame on you…a dirty climber… made me translate like a donkey…. millions of words… all machine translation…and then found faults… and who am I seeing here... is that you Suma??? You are also here!!! You had a problem with my qualification...so you were threatened… not only that… you hated me because I found your faults… yes in French dear…do you remember… you’d write ‘a fin de’… and not ‘afin de’… and there were scores of other faux pas… you guys have also got permission to be on this train…let me try some other coach..

But where do I go? I see all of you occupying every seat...including mine! Waving at me? Going places? I also have to go...I have a family to feed too, besides I have a valid ticket here… and I am dead sure most of you don’t… you will manage your seat from the TT thanks to your interpersonal skills; but please don’t fake your kindness… you’d been not so kind when you had the chance… okay go… take care…all the best. I cannot run anymore... I have to sleep."

Beethoven's Pastoral is playing in the background. There is also this intimidating Denver who's singing away 'take me home'. Why are they looking so kind and happy? Are they faking it? Are they happy because they are on the train or is it because Kalyan is not!

The train whistles. Kalyan, wet with pain, wakes up in the middle of the night. He goes to the kitchen, silently has water. He visualizes how ‘everybody’ has been trying to tell him what he was not… a monster, a black sheep, a bad apple…and what not. He goes to his desk and writes:

My body is not a garbage.

It is a garden.

Ah! Writing is such a relief, he takes a deep breath and smiles. Indeed the 'body' is not a garbage...to be filled with thoughts that only bring diseases and miseries; it is a garden that needs to be guarded and protected. No matter what, he will not be defined by the ‘other’ going forward; he has every reason to destroy himself, but no, he decides to face life; he will do things that he holds as good. He cannot control the world outside , but he can definitely control himself, his body, his mind and his spirit, most of all, his thoughts. The little Tejas cried looking at him; never mind, it was not his fault, neither was it Kalyan’s, but he was holding himself as a devil because of this for a long time; the whole group would have at that moment thought of him as a criminal.

But can Loveleen be blamed, can any characters here be blamed… we have made the world a stage of competition… going berserk because of this win-lose model, where one has to win at the cost of others. They were all trying to gain their own positions, as a winner... in this game, someone has to lose, dadi Janki so affectionately says...haar mani (accept defeat) brings harmony..someone has to lose; Kalyan, wide awake, comes to the balcony and looks at the sky, it looks black with the moon, blue with the sun; both are true or none is... if he was destined to be a loser, so be it, but he will not allow any negative thought poison his body, it is simply not worth it; no one is that important to ruin his sleep and his peace of mind…and there is no need to run away from anything. And in this trajectory towards understanding Self, he is not a loser.

He is sure the train will come again… he would simply let the train and the passengers go with no reservations.

On his headphone he listens to Beethoven's sixth symphony again in the dead of the night that's slowly breaking into a dawn.